If you're the defence, what loophole can you exploit here to avoid conviction? Thankfully of late I've been shameless and in ample supply of soup. Wishing you all the best during "final sale"!
An Act to consolidate certain Acts relating to purchasing behaviour during sale time; and for other purposes.
PART 1 – Interpretation
1 – In this Act –
ability refers to a person’s financial means to purchase a fashion item, excluding their credit limit;
fashion item "item"- including, but not limited to, black leather, boots and other items of profound importance. For example, clothing and accessories that are worn or carried, or anything considered a “fashion item” by the fashion community;
rare unlikely to be on the market in your size ever again;
significant wear the fashion item is worn at least three times a fortnight;
want a person’s willingness to own an item.
2 – Aggravated Offences
(1) An aggravated offence is an offence committed if the defendant purchased an item on sale that they would not have wanted before determining their ability to purchase; or
(2) if the defendant purchased an item that they wanted a size larger or smaller, hoping to make it fit anyway.
(a) successfully making it work will not aggravate an offence.
PART 2 – Crimes of the irrational bargain hunter
3 – Bargain Offences
(1) A person is guilty of a bargain offence if –
(a) the offender purchased an item that on the balance of probabilities would not get significant wear; and
(b) the item was not rare and wanted; or
(c) the offender purchased an item knowing it would be unflattering on their body type; or
(d) the item purchased is not cohesive with other items currently in the purchaser’s possession; or
(e) the item –
i) is not black; and
ii) black was the first preference in colour.
(2) It is a full defence to an offence under this section if the defendant purchased the item with the sole intention of reselling.
(a) for a basic offence– shame for 1 week or return the item;
(b) for an aggravated offence– return the item and/or 1 year of shame and no soup for you.
Paul Harnden apron dress, wool, linen
Rick Owens asymmetric tank, cotton
Guidi boots, calf leather
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